The News that really counts!
NEWS FLASH! 26 JUNE 2001
~DE VERE GIG STANDS DESPITE CANCELLATION RUMOURS~
Contrary to reports, the De Vere gig, Blackpool, is still on. It was believed that the band had been axed from the summer ball event due to lack of funds but Rick today confirmed that the gig would go ahead. Speaking to the Destination Nowhere Official Website he said "Yep, we're still playing, me and Andrew went to see the organisers yesterday and we've come to an agreement over proceedings. The plan is that we'll be doing a 50-minute set after the speeches then we're free to do what ever we want. Should be fun, we've got a couple of new numbers sorted for the event, and were probably all going to be wearing tuxedoes to play in!"
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 25 JUNE 2001
~HORNBY LINES UP NEW ROLE IN AMERICAN SITCOM~
Andrew Hornby is setting his sights on a starring role with the cast of American sitcom 'Friends'. Pictures taken for the new series out on Sky Digital later this year, clearly show that Hornby will be taking over the part of Chandler, the rather camp appearing, but humourous member of the group. Delighted at the news, one Hornby fan commented "It'll be fantastic to see him on TV again, he was so good last time (refering to his brief appearance in 'Quiff Hanger'), I just hope the other five don't get in his way."
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 23 JUNE 2001
~ANDREW WANTS SCANDALOUS GOSSIP TO END~
Andrew Jones, the band's lead singer, wants to see the end of ridiculous 'stories' on this website. He believes that such scandals as 'Hornby Loses Quiff' and 'Mike Beds Four A Night' should not be publicised. Unfortunately for the site to remain as popular as it is, this won't happen. If there are scandals to be written, written they shall be.
NEWS FLASH! 22 JUNE 2001
~GUEST BOOK FIXED~
Sorry for the temporary fault in the guest book, I reckon it's fixed now so feel free to sign it as you like. I will also remind you that the Web Board can be used to leave messages too. Cheers, Rick.
NEWS FLASH! 21 JUNE 2001
~COMPETITION FOR THE QUIFF?~
Last night's band rehearsal became the perfect opportunity for Andrew to unvail his answer to Hornby's quiff. Sporting a 'Ginger Beard' Andrew stole the show. The band looked at some old numbers with drummer Lee before blasting into new song 'Driftwood' by Travis. Work has also begun on the demo tape recordings.
In other news, a gig has been arranged for 7th July in Kirkham, the day after the Summer Ball. All are welcome.
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 20 JUNE 2001
~ANDREW OR ANDREA?~
Can it be true? Lead singer Andrew Jones is a drag queen? It is claimed that last night Andrew was seen coming out of the 'Conservative Club' St.Annes wearing a mini skirt and high heels. Roaming reporter Dave also claimed to see long golden locks flowing from his head. But Andrew, surely not? not Andrew? He's not the kind of guy who enjoys wearing wigs and prancing about is he?! (well, there was a talent show I remeber him appearing in...)
Cash strippen Andrew has apparently become so desperate for a steady income that he is considering giving up the Sunday Night Quiz to do drag full time. But what does this mean for the band, more Britney? Bass Guitarist, Rick said of the insidence: "I think it can only be positive, we'll be able to cover I wider range of music and we'll have some sex appeal for the lads. Go for it mate!"
BRAND NEW FEATURE! 18 JUNE 2001
~GLOBAL QUIFF LAUNCHED!~
Brand new webpage feature 'Global Quiff - Around the World in 80 seconds' is now available by link from the Fan Club Page. Only Fanclub members can view it, so if your not a member sign up for free today!
NEWS FLASH! 17 JUNE 2001
~ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH?~
Band members Hornby and Rick were both left bewildered today by a mystery joker. Spoof messages left in the website's guest book were believed, by Rick, to be left by Hornby. When asked to explain himself Hornby replied "What messages? I thought you put them there?"
In other news stand in 'summer' drummer, Lee has agreed to a jamming session this Wednesday (3.30pm at Rick's). The band hopes to look at some new material for the forthcoming De Vere gig.
NEWS FLASH! 16 JUNE 2001
~BAND LINE UP BLACKPOOL GIG~
Destination Nowhere today confirmed that they would be playing a one off gig at the Rose & Crown in Blackpool on the Thursday, 12th July. Eager fans are reminded of the need for excessive drinking at the event to help boost the bands income. Everyone is welcome (18+ of course), get there quick to get a good seat, a packed audience is expected.
NEWS FLASH! 14 JUNE 2001
~DESTINATION NOWHERE GOES GLOBAL~
Sensationally Destination Nowhere's Website is being invaded by foreigners. The Guest book and Fanclub has been littered by messages from the continent. From Bangkok to Canada, Wales to Derby (of all god-forsaken-places), they just can't get enough of it. But how I hear you ask? How the hell can someone from Iceland stumble across our site?!! The answer...is clear. There is a missing link, but not for much longer. The Official Destination Nowhere Website can reveal that JONSEY has been meeting in seedy little chat rooms with hundreds of eager women from across the globe. He woose them with his devilish charm and has them falling at his feet. Beware women of the world, he's out there!
(By the way, should anyone fancy a date with this hunky fellow rumour has it that he's still free for the end of year prom, fancy free drinks anyone?)
14 JUNE 2001
The Pictures page has been revamped today, some great ones. Also members of the fanclub can now enter the special fanpage site using their personalised password. If your not a member, join up now! If you are a member, but don't have a password, let me know (criduz@aol.com).
NO NEWS FLASH! 13 JUNE 2001
No news today...it's unlucky isn't it?!
LET THE FANS DECIDE! 12 JUNE 2001
If you have any Articles, poems, storys, pictures or just general ideas for the new 'Hornby's Quiff Fanpage' please send them to criduz@aol.com. I will be greatful of anything you come up with. Cheers, Rick.
NEWS FLASH! 12 JUNE 2001
~SITE GAINS INTERNATIONAL RECOGNITION~
The Destination Nowhere Offical Website took its first steps towards world recognition today after recieving rave reviews from world renowned breast expert Prof. Messer. He said "I must say, being a top class journalist for the daily women with big breasts, I believe that your world exclusive about this Michael Dodd and his mystery women could very well make front page news. keep up the scandals boys, the world needs people like you". Delighted at the news that the bands website is going from strength to strength bass guitarist Rick said "It's great news, we always new we would be big, but this big? Eee funny things do 'appen don't they!"
In other news the weird and wonderful world of rock 'n' roll has thrown up another mystery. How can Micheal Dodd get in the pub when his profile says he is less than a year old, and more to the fact, how the heck can he bed three lasses?! Answers on a postcard to criduz@aol.com. (If the last paragraph has made no sence to you what so ever, your either very dense or you haven't read comments on the Web Board yet!)
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 11 JUNE 2001
~DODDY IN THREE IN A BED ROMP~
Lead guitairist, Michael Dodd was said to be 'on top of the world' after a night of steamy passion with three lasses in his penthouse sweet. The revelations come just a day after the trauma of accusations involving fellow band member Andrew Hornby about the disappearence of his quiff. Destination Nowhere's Official Website can reveal that Michael has recieved a saucy thankyou message in the guestbook which reads: "Just want to say thanks for last night darlin' - you were fantastic. And don't worry - nobody will take the mick out of you for resembling a cheesy wotsit - its quite normal.."
NEWS FLASH! 11 JUNE 2001
~THE QUIFF LIVES~
As expected Andrew Hornby's Lawyer denied all knowledge of a Mohawk haircut in yesterdays arranged press conference and assured fans that the famous quiff was alive and well. When asked whether the world renowned hair had been touched a statement from Andrew replied "Never, the quiff lives!".
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 10 JUNE 2001
~STUNNING PICTURE REVEALS MOHAWK MAYHEM~
The world was left shocked this morning after seeing pictures printed in a Sunday newspaper revealing Andrew Hornby's new haircut. Yesterday Andrew strongly denied all rumours of a 'David Beckham' style chop, however this stunning photograph of Andy at his Spainish holiday home clearly shows a Mohawk haircut. Andy's agent has called a press conference for this afternoon, we will keep you informed of developments.
NEWS FLASH! 10 JULY 2001
~TOMS AT IT AGAIN!~
(Picture removed at Tom's request)
Last week Tom strongly denied that he was an alcoholic. Unfortunately new evidence has come to light after a late night drinking binge on Friday night at the De Vere Hotel. This stunning photograph shows Tom, once again, off his head. Tommy boy, is this not you? Concerned band member Rick believes Tom should cut down "He drinks too much. He talks too much. He eats too much. He needs to be put down that boy!" We wait to hear Tom's response to the latest allegations.
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 28 JUNE 2001
~TOM'S ON THE DRINK AGAIN~
The band's drummer, Tom Murray spent a night in police cells after being arrested for public disorder. Depressed at the news that he would be on holiday and miss two weeks of touring with the band, Tom got rat arsed in the Admiral pub. The picture above, showing Tom attempting to make conversation with a pint glass, clearly shows his paralytic state. Locals at the pub commented "He was mad, kept saying 'who's ya daddy' and burping!". A statement from the band today said that a full investigation into the event would not be necessary "It's Tom isn't it? What do you expect?".
NEWS FLASH! 08 JUNE 2001
~HAIR ROMOURS QUASHED~
Contrary to reports Andrew Hornby today announced that he's "not getting I hair cut". The revelation came just days after the Destination Nowhere guitarist was seen heading towards a St.Annes barbers. We will keep you informed of his movements.
09 JUNE 2001
Tom announces holiday plans. Unfortunately, band drummer Tom today made it clear that he would not be available for half of the bands summer tour. Tom's parents have arranged a family holiday at the end of July which clashes with Destination Nowhere's planned summer line ups. Consequently the band is hoping to draft in a currently unnamed replacement for when Tom is away. Sourses close to the band are suggesting that the new member could well be a 23-year-old local man but no names are yet known. In other news the bands fanclub got it's first 'none band member' fan. Robyn Heald aka Rick's Lady Friend is now an official member. The band is erging any fans not yet a member of the club to come forward, membership is free (see link).
08 JUNE 2001
It's nearly ready, Destination Nowhere fully animated and available for you to order. Tests are currently being done and it is hoped that soon anyone who wants a copy can have it. Greeeaaatt. In other news, romours are suggesting that the band's rhythm guitarist, Andrew Hornby, is considering getting a Mohawk haircut after recieving constant abuse from fellow band members about his quiff. Some of his mad fans have been seen camping out side of his house in protest.
06 JUNE 2001
Profile section finished + New web board up and running. The new profile section, found by taking 'The Band' link from the home page displays all the facts and figures you didn't know about, or didn't want to know about each band member. Also it is now possible to send messages to the site using our web board. Some rather mentally disturbed person has already used this facility to annouce their undying love for Hornby. On behalf of all the other band members I which her/him a speedy return to mental security. Cheers, Rick.
NEWS FLASH! 05 JUNE 2001
~BAND ANNOUNCES RECORDING SESSION~
Talk has been rife that a studio recording may be imminent for the band. News out today confirms the suspicion. The band plans to make several recordings of some of there latest covers at a secret location on the Fylde coast. It is believed that recording will commense in a couple of weeks and that demo tapes will be made.
05 JUNE 2001
The new band profile page is almost ready. Band members are asked to fill in their personal profiles and get them back to Rick.
~GUEST BOOK PLAGUED BY MYSTERY CALLER!~
Who the f**k is dave (downtown@limpbiskit.com)? Answers on a postcard to criduz@aol.com.
04 JUNE 2001
Guest book has now been uploaded, feel free to add any comments, suggestions or general slurs by clicking on the link, cheers.
For those of you trying to view the animation of the band and failing to get anything...sorry, this feature is still in its development stages and will be available soon.
03 JUNE 2001
Official Web Site up and running! Basic construction has finally been completed and the result is a rather spiffing site. Obviously only the outline of the site has been uploaded, there are sections still to be completed and we ask for you patience. Many more new features are in the pipeline and we expect them to arrive in the next few weeks.
