The News that really counts!
(Not all the gossip on this page is 100% true, stories may have become slightly 'twisted', i.e. expect a bit of bullshit!)
BREAKING NEWS! 19 AUGUST 2002
~JONES MEETS ELVIS~
A story out today has claimed that lead vocalist Andrew Jones has been in secret liaison with Elvis. Speculation is mounting that Elvis is planning a comeback tour and wants Destination Nowhere to support him. At the resent Elvis commemoration event in Blackpool loyal fans insisted the king was alive and said they were looking forward to seeing him in action again. Watch this space.
LATEST NEWS! 19 AUGUST 2002
~BAND VENTURES SOUTH~
The next port of call for Destination Nowhere's summer tour is the Hansom Cab in Lytham. The band will be playing its first gig in the town and is once again hopping for a blinder. Lead Guitarist, Mike, will be absent from the gig as he has sodded off around the world with his miss's. Instead the band has drafted in guest guitarist Dave Green as a replacement. Bassist Rick has worked with Dave before and was keen to get him involved. John Everson also returns from his holiday to back Jonesy on vocals and boost the guitar section.
~BASS STRING BLUNDER~
Destination Nowhere's bassist, Rick Cridland was left red faced at the recent Admiral gig when his bottom string snapped two songs into the set. Unfortunately bass strings 'don't break' so Rick had no spare set with him. Consequently drummer Roy Shearer had to give Rick a lift home to get his spare guitar leaving the rest of the band to busk for fifteen minutes! Nevertheless Rick returned to a round of applause and continued unfazed, another stonking evening followed. After the gig Rick explained "Shit happens. This time it happened to me, thank God it wasn't my G-string!".
BREAKING NEWS! 14 JUNE 2002
~HEART-THROB HORNBY SEEN WITH WOMEN~
Rhythm guitarist Andy Hornby has been seen gallivanting with a tall leggy blonde it was reported today. Millions of fans wept at the news that has sent shock waves through the female population. Andy's agent explained to the media today "The rumours are true, Andy has been seeing a young lady, but there is no truth in the rumour that they are to wed". The girls name has been withheld for legal reasons.
LATEST NEWS! 14 JUNE 2002
~SPECULATION MOUNTS ABOUT NAME CHANGE~
Destination Nowhere could soon be changing their band name after growing speculation that the current name is to be dropped. The latest name to be circulated is 'Cremé Broulé' in honour of the league of gentlemen, however it is feared that this may cause controversy. Any suggestions are still welcome to criduz@aol.com.
~SUMMER TOUR CHANGE ABOUT~
Three new band members are set to make appearances over the summer break. Drummer, Graham Robinson, and guitarists Dave Green and 'Geoff' are being brought in to replace Roy and Mike when they are away on their summer holidays. It is believed that these changes may well effect some of the set lists and consequently bring in new material.
BREAKING NEWS! 08 APRIL 2002
~NAME TO CHANGE?~
Speculation is rife that Destination Nowhere may be considering a name change. The name 'Destination Nowhere' was originally thought of as a temporary fix until a better name could be thought of. Initially the band did not expect to still be together at this stage. Hence we put it to you, our loyal fans, to suggest, if at all, what the band could be called. We plan to have a vote later this month, on our official website, pitting our current name against new suggestions. Anyone with a good idea as to a new name please e-mail your suggestion(s) to criduz@aol.com.
NEWS FLASH! 08 APRIL 2002
~JOHN BECOMES HONORARY MEMBER~
It was unveiled today that singing sensation and rhythm guitarist John Evison has been asked to join the band on a permanent basis. After two fantastic guest appearances it has been decided that John has become as much a part of the band as any other member. His versatility and skill will provide a extra depth to Destination Nowhere's growing repertoire. Watch this space.
~ANOTHER CRACKER!~
Thanks to everyone who attended the latest gig at the Admiral, once again it was a huge success. The band was extremely pleased with the way everyone responded to the new material such as 'Pretty Women', 'Summer of '69' and 'Wild Thing', and hope to learn more great songs for the next gig.
NEWS FLASH! 28 MARCH 2002
~EASTER GIG HOPING TO BREAK ATTENDANCE RECORDS~
Destination Nowhere's next gig is scheduled for the 6th April 2002, at the Admiral (starting at 9pm). It is hoped that all our loyal fans will be out in force to make this occasion as enjoyable as ever. At the last gig the place was packed out to the point of bursting, and we want to do that again. Bring yourselves, bring your mates, bring your mum, your gran, your neighbours, your pets, every legal drinker (or otherwise) you know. We can't wait to see you all there!
~WORK BEGINS ON NEW MATERIAL~
Destination Nowhere began work on new material for their forth coming gig on 6th April today. It is believed that they may be playing as many as 10 new songs. Bassist Rick said "We're keen to produce new material at the next gig as we feel that some of the old stuff is becoming a bit stale. We were pleased with the response of some of our rockier numbers last time out and so may well be including several more upbeat songs in our next gig."
NEWS FLASH! 1 FEBUARY 2002
~TWO MORE ADMIRAL GIGS ARRANGED~
A band spokesman confirmed today that two new gigs had been arranged for Destination Nowhere. Both gigs are for the Admiral in St.Annes and have been scheduled for 6th April 2002 and 10th August 2002. A band spokesman also confirmed that Roy Shearer would be drumming and that once again John Evison would be invited to guest with the band.
NEWS FLASH! 19 DECEMBER 2001
~DESTINATION NOWHERE RETURN FOR CHRISTMAS SPECIAL~
Yes the rumours are true, Destination Nowhere are back and mad for it! I special reunion gig has been arranged for the 5th January 2002 at the Admiral. Special guests include Mr. John Evison on Guitar and the wonderful singing voice of Miss. Rachel Thomas. We have a special treat on drums too with both previous drummers, Roy Shearer and Tom Murrey, taking a set each. It looks like a fantastic evening is again on the cards, feel free to join us, go on, you know you want to!
NEWS FLASH! 29 AUGUST 2001
~FINAL GIG A BLAST~
A night of raw emotion and pleasure was enjoyed by all at Destination Nowhere's last gig ever at the Admiral on Sunday. The band wooed a sell out crowd with hits such as Sit Down, Smoke On The Water and Alice, and also played some brand new numbers including Mustang Sally, Save Tonight and Paranoid to the delight of their followers... More
NEWS FLASH! 20 AUGUST 2001
~FINAL GIG THIS SUNDAY?~
It is believed that Sundays gig may well be the last for Destination Nowhere. In September atleast three of the members will be off to University. The band are to celebrate nearly a year together with a special gig this weekend. As an extra treat they have invited local band 'Epic Nugget' to support them. a few special guests are also expected to make an appearance. It will all kick off at about 8pm this Sunday at the Admiral, St.Annes, so we hope to see you all there for one will be a very special evening.
~NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS?~
"It has been quite a while since I last addressed our adoring public. The band has been busy...doing other things like holidays and pub trips. But I feel I can now once again entertain you all with tails of woe. What's new? Not a lot really. We have a new fan called 'Fanny' who lives in America, she is 63 years old I believe. Most of us have successfully made a pigs ear of our A-levels and Roy has returned from India to make a final appearance with the band. Other than that, alls the same."
The Rick.
NEWS FLASH! 19 JULY 2001
~APOLOGIES TO TOMMY BOY~
I would like to apologise to band drummer Tom Murrey who feels he has been miss represented on this Website. All recent articles about Tom have been erased (including pictures).
In other news, it has emerged that Destination Nowhere are in talks with the Talbot, Lytham, over the possibility of performing there in the second half of august. Watch this space for details.
BRAND NEW GAME! 16 JULY 2001
~'THE BIG FIGHT' RELEASED TODAY~
The eagerly awaited release date for 'The Big Fight - Bass Man Rick .v. Quiff Boy Hornby' is finally upon us and from today all fanclub members can download the 2 player 'Mortal Combat' style arcade game for FREE! If you're not a fanclub member, you know what to do, join up (Clever enrolment ploy, what?!) To get your hands on a copy, simple fill in the details on the download page and I'll send it to you. Apologies to anyone who failed to receive a working version of 'Ask Andrew', the faults have been fixed and that too is now ready for download. And comments or quires about the games please send to criduz@aol.com. Another apology goes out to anyone leaving a message on the guestbook or web board this week. Unfortunately Stormpages decided to do their annual check up, so any information typed in this period may have been lost. This also explains the lack of news updates lately. We're back online now though so keep visiting for the latest gossip and entertainment. Cheers, the Rick.
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 13 JULY 2001
~CHEEKY LANDLORD PAYS BAND £25 FOR THE NIGHT!~
Disgusted band members left the Rose & Crown last night bitterly upset. After doing a set lasting over 2 hours they were paid £5 each. When all the new wires and gaffer tape had been accounted for this dropped to £2. A deal had been struck between Andrew and the landlord that as a trial, for their first performance at the Rose & Crown, the band would be paid 10% of the evenings taking. Thinking this would be a good idea, with the pub being in the centre of Blackpool on a Thursday night, the band took up the offer but was left very disappointed. A handful of people turned up to watch, in fact about half of them were our loyal groupies (thank you guys, we owe you one!). Band drummer Tom said afterwards "Told you it wouldn't be worth it, that landlord conned us!" Rick also had a lot to say, most of which cannot be repeated, but his message today was clear "There is no way in hells chance I will ever play at that place again! All I can say is thank you to those of you who turned up to support us, we needed it! And thanks to those guys who sat opposite for the whole of our set, we appreciated it greatly."
NEWS FLASH! 12 JULY 2001
~TONIGHTS THE NIGHT~
Last chance reminders about the Rose & Crown Gig tonight. Performance starts at 8.45pm but be down there earlier if you want a good seat, it will be packed! If you're still puzzling over where the Rose & Crown is, it's at the end of Burley street, on the corner, opposite BHS. It doesn't actually look like a pub from the outside, so look out for the red exterior. And for those who are sick to death of my over the top advertising campaign…sorry I'm a power freak. See you there.
NEWS FLASH! 09 JULY 2001
~GLOBAL CONQUEST BEGINS!~
On Saturday evening the band played at the St. George's Hotel in Kirkham. After a somewhat quiet first set the band turned the evening around with a blistering (literally) comeback in the second. Soon the whole of Kirkham had arrived to see what the commotion was about. Even Michael Dodd was smiling. In fact he was smiling, and moving more than Andy Hornby, the tide has turned me thinks? The band now has a break from there hectic touring until Thursday when they will be playing at the Rose & Crown in Blackpool. Rick, for one, is very grateful after blistering two of his fingers and drawing blood from another. He even tried taping his fingers up during the Kirkham performance with electrical tape, but with little success!
NEWS FLASH! 07 JULY 2001
~BOTTOMS UP - DE VERE A HIT!~
A great time was had by all last night at the De Vere hotel, Blackpool. Even band guitarist, Mike Dodd enjoyed himself (hence the smile in the picture above, please note that this has not been digitally enhanced!). After arriving in style in a stretch limo, the band was mobbed by the paparazzi. They then proceeded to a champagne reception followed by a meal. Later in the evening Destination Nowhere took to the stage and did a 50 minute set included classic songs, Alice, Sit Down and Smoke On The Water. There was even some dancing as well. Bassist Rick admitted he was a little tipsy while performing, however he was pleased with the outcome "It was alright, I remembered which way up the guitar went despite the six glasses of champagne and three pints consumed before I performed. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and Mike was genuinely smiling while he was playing!" The next performance for Destination Nowhere is tonight at St. George's Pub, Kirkham. All members are hoping to have enough energy to play after getting home in the early hours of the morning.
NEWS FLASH! 04 JULY 2001
~ALL CHEER FOR THE DE VERE~
With only two days to go before the big night, excitement is growing. On Friday, Destination Nowhere will play at Lytham High's Sixth Form Summer Ball, aptly named 'Summer Ball 2001'. An audience of around 300 is expected. Today the band had it's final rehearsal before the show and Rick said afterwards "Yer, it went well. We had a look at the new songs but I won't tell you what they are, it's a surprise. I thought Hotel California was sounding great today, Mike's got the solo perfect, and Sit Down by James will be fantastic. We're all looked forward to rocking out on Friday."
In other news, Andrew has had his hair cut, but not the hair under his chin (ginger beard). It would appear that his new style is, in fact, a quiff. He denies this, but band member Tom told the Website today, "It's a quiff alright, just like Hornby!". You'll have to see it and decide for yourself.
NEWS FLASH! 03 JULY 2001
~DADDY'S BACK!~
Tom is back, and raring to go for the De Vere. Fears earlier in the week had suggested that Tom would not make the event due to illness, but he's recovered.
In other news, there hasn't been any, because Rick has spent half his life stuck on a train trying to get home from Manchester. He would just like to take this oppertunity to thank Railtrack for making his journey last three and a half hours. They even let him ride five different trains after three break downs and two cancellations on his way to Preston. And a message from Rick to the Railtrack steward w**ker who asked everyone to move up when the train had already exceeded it's full capacity, "You dick!". Rick apologises for any bad language in the last paragraph, he was a little upset (not to mention the heartache of dropping a fruit pizza on saturday night).
NEWS FLASH! 30 JUNE 2001
~PREDICT THE FUTURE, ASK ANDREW~
Another fantastic feature available for all Destination Nowhere Fanclub members. Fill in the information on the download page and you can recieve this programme for free! Have you ever puzzled over whether to do something or not? Would you like to know if that girl down the road is getting it on with your old school teacher? Are you going to get laid this weekend? For the answers to your questions, simple ask Andrew. (Available to Fanclub members only, if you are not a fanclub member, join up today!)
~BRAND NEW ARCADE GAME AVAILABLE SOON~
A fantastic new computer game has been developed in our studios.
'The Big Fight - Bass Man .v. The Quiff Boy' is a two player game designed and produced by Rick. Based on the timeless classic 'Mortal Combat' you take the role of either Rick, the bassist, or Hornby, the guitarist. The basic idea is you beat the sh*t of each other, and the first one to win three bouts is the winner. He or she then gets to do a rather humiliating finishing move on the opposite character, wicked or what?! The game will be available soon, and free to play!
NEWS FLASH! 29 JUNE 2001
~TOM GETS TONSILLITIS (True Story)~
Tom, the band's drummer, has been taken to hospital with tonsillitis. It is feared that he may not be out of hospital before the De Vere gig on the 6th July. Concerned band member, Andrew said "It doesn't look good, he'll need an operation, and may not be available for a couple of weeks".
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! 27 JUNE 2001
~HORNBY CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN~
Red-faced Andrew Hornby was soundly humiliated by his chum Rick last weekend when Rick took it upon himself to run off with Andy's trousers. After a rather mad club day Rick, Hornby and Chev were invited to stay over at Rick's girlfriends. Later that evening an argument started over which side of the sofa bed Hornby would be sleeping on. Hornby, already in bed, refused to move over, so cheeky Rick whipped Hornby's trousers off the floor and ran off with them. I very embarrassed Hornby ran after him, wearing only a rather sexy pair of grey boxers. Unfortunately, Robyn's friends and family had not yet gone to bed, and ended up watching a half naked bloke running through their house. They found it quite funny! Hornby though…didn't.
